The BIG Change was coming....

In October 2010 my husband called me on my cell while I was working on dinner and the kids were playing. He said to me that he had something to tell me about his new orders. At that moment I swear I stoped breathing for just a sceond, I knew what he was about to say. Then those words that I had been dreading came out of his mouth... We are going to Okinanwa. Okinawa, Japan.... which is about 8,000 miles away from home, away from friends, away from family, away from everything that I and my kids have ever known. I was terrified and mad and upset all at once. I just started to ball. Tears fell down my face fast and almost as much as when I was told that I had fertility problems. I just stared shaking, you woould truly have thought that something awfull had happend like my mother thought when I first got on the phone wiht her to break the news to her as she was driving home from work. My entire world just caved in. I thought that my kids would forget their fmaily and friends, that I would lose my best friend, that three years away from 'home' was the worst thing ever. It took two weeks to stop crying everytime I thought or heard the words Japan or moving. Then after a few weeks, I was just mad and not sad anymore. I then started tok blame my husband and always get mad and snippy with him. Then I just came to the decision that I can not do anything to change what is about to come and that I need to just accept it... so I did just that which took me a while but I did it. I got everything done that I had to before our big move across the world. The days had gone by so fast, the weeks went by, and then the months were gone. My days with my bestie were slowly dieing. I felt like we didnt get that much time together. I am still very upset that we never got to say our 'see you later's" to each other. I will never forget that. Then the time came, the time to bye to our fmaily at the airport. As my daddy had tears coming down his face, and my mother holding back hers so much even though she wont admitt it, and my sister just in shock and not knowing what to say. They were all so upset and yet I just didnt know what to think or do, I was still dreading this travel with my kids. I was so scared of our flights and the change here for them. But it turned out that they did so much better then I thought, even better then me. We made it to Okinawa, Japan Kadena AFB... all safe, tired, hungry, and HOTT. We were greeted so greatly by our then sponsors but our now great friends Tina and Thomas Bishop. They were amazing and helped us with sooo much with out even complaining, infact they actually offered and told us that they are our taxis till we get a car and home. We couldnt have asked for better help or friends. Because of Tina myself and the kids have been doing great and now love the island.

Mommy time!

I think that every mother needs to leave the kids at home once a week with daddy or a sitter. We all need time alone, with no one screaming or crying or haveing a fit. You need time to get your head back on and maybe have one adult conversation that doesnt involve a color, number, or 'no, not now' or even their favorite tv sow over and over and over and over. So when you get that chance to leave the kids home for a bit you look forward to that day or that moment. But then once you give your kisses and 'love you' and you walk out that door and get in the car you feel guilty. You feel like you just abandoned them. You then turn on the car and hear a song they love to dance to and you begin to laugh and dance along to it just like you would with your two year old. You get to the store or where ever you go and you see a little girl that reminds you of your little girl and smile and yet again you feel guilty. You say to your self over and over 'I need my time alone, I need mommy time, I can do this'... and you do it.... as fast as you possible can just so you run home and get to see their precious smiles as they run up to you with mouths open for a kiss and arms up for a hug.... and then the crying begins again and the screaming starts... then you wish you could just leave again. Ever felt like that? I do all the time! LOL!

But yes, every mother/father needs time alone. As much as we miss them when we leave we still need that time. It coould even just be a hot bubble bath with a glass of wine or out to lunch with other mommies.

My (Almost) Angel's

Connor Richard-Lee, born July 30, 2008. Connor was named after his daddy and PaPa. My baby boy has grown up to be such a sweet, loving, caring, loud, Mr Tude blonde hair, brown eyed little boy. He can be crazy and then calm all in a matter of minutes. He is one of the most pickiest little boys I know with his food. He likes pasta, chicken nuggets, yogurt, cheese, apple juice, mac n chz (sometimes), pbj, cereal, poptarts, fruit bars and a few other things. He is so stubburn and so silly. I love his laugh, he makes me laugh just when he laughs. He is becoming so indenpent, he loves to do stuff alone but still love it when you help or show him how to do something new. He has really started to use his imagination and copies what some shows do. His big thing lately is climbing and jumping off anything he thinks he can, which scares me to death. He loves his blue blanky, which usually must go everywhere with us including his Woody and Buzz and believe me if we forget one thing he will let you know before you leave the driveway. He is and will for ever be mommys crazy little monkey and daddys little man.

Kyleigh Jordyn, born October 20, 2009. Kyleigh was also named after her daddy and her NaeNae picked out her middle name. Now, Kyleigh is VERY vocal and has been from the second she was bron. She has given her mommy a some moments, moments in which I felt like I should be in the loney bin. She is very independant and likes it that way. She loves to do things her self. She is very ambisious and knows what she wants and how to get it. She loves tomatoes and cucumbers with french dressing, mac n cheese, chicken nuggets, and much more. She isnt as picky as her brother, and she will usually atleast try somthing atleast once. She likes to think that she is a big girl like her big brother and tries to do everything he does, which gives me a major heart attack. She is very much a girly girl with some daddy in her too, but loves to get her hair done with bows and toes painted pink. She is her daddys fireball and mommys princess butterfly.

This is just a little about my little Angel's :)

The start of my thoughts....

My life is a rollercoaster as most lives are. This seem to be going in a straight path then boom it drops and then slowly goes back up and at times gives you few twists and turns. This is how life was meant to be. No ones life is just written in stone, it is what you make it and how you choose to live it. Now before you sit there and say something, yes I do believe that everything in life, good or bad, happens for a reason… even if we don’t know the reason. I have had more then my share of bad but I have had more good. The bad and the good are the things that make you who you are today. The bad has made me a stronger women.

I am me and I will only ever be me. This blog is about me and my family and my life. I will talk about past, present and furture. This is where I can talk about all my crazy thoughts and ideas.

Remember, life your life the way you want and deserve and never never give up on your dreams!